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Very True Things
“He talks to himself sometimes because he’s the only one who understands what he’s saying.”

Archive for February 9th, 2005


I’ve just remembered a very strange dream I had last night.

I couldn’t put my slippers on (and with that sentence I lose 10,000 macho points) because they were covered with sheep snot.

Two rams had been doing the whole head-butting things with much snorting (hence the aforementioned mucus) and had decided to do this right where I was standing. In order to escape these ovine hooligans I jumped onto a sundial and as I jumped my slippers were left behind and were thus in the firing line.

What I don’t understand is what I was doing in a place that contained (a) testosterone fuelled sheep and (b) a sundial whilst wearing slippers?


It’s likely that the new series of Doctor Who will start of Saturday 26th March. That gives you six weekends between now and then. Here’s a way to spend five of them. Watch one of the following stories (main picks are all available on DVD) each weekend to get yourself in the mood for the new series.

The Dalek Invasion of Earth

The second Dalek story and featuring one of the most iconic moments of all - the Dalek emerging from beneath the surface of the river Thames. London would see many alien invasions over the next two decades but this was the first and most striking - the Daleks had already conquered and subdued the earth before the story began. The brainwashed Robomen and scruffy resistance fighters made the parallel between the tin pot dicatators and the Nazis clearer than it would be in any story until “Genesis of the Daleks”.

Alternative William Hartnell pick - “An Uneathly Child”, forget the cavemen stuff in parts two to four, just watch the opening episode.

The Tomb of the Cybermen

This story gave Peter Davison nightmares as a kid and the scene of the Cybermen silently awakening and emerging from their ‘tombs’ is another prime iconic moment. By this time the “base under seige” format had been done to many times but the extra twists used her and sheer quality of the whole production raise it above all the others.

And ask yourself - how much does the Doctor know what’s happening in advance and consequently how much is he manipulating events? It’s a theory more often applied to the seventh Doctor rather than the second, but…

Alternative Patrick Troughton pick - “The Mind Robber”.

Alternative Jon Pertwee pick - “Spearhead from Space”.

The Ark in Space

Featuring one of the most embarrassing monsters in a long line of embarrassing monsters (it’s bubble wrap painted green!) this may seem like an odd choice. But it highlights all the nobility, compassion and courage in the human race - all the qualities that inspire the Doctor to love and protect Earth and its inhabitants so much.

Homo sapiens. What an inventive, invincible species. It’s only a few million years since they crawled up out of the mud and learned to walk. Puny, defenceless bipeds. They’ve survived flood, famine and plague. They’ve survived cosmic wars and holocausts. And now, here they are, out among the stars, waiting to begin a new life. Ready to outsit eternity. They’re indomitable.

Alternative Tom Baker pick - “City of Death”.

The Caves of Androzani

The fifth Doctor was the gentlest and most compassionate (and as one fan put it - the only one you’d feel safe taking round to your mum’s for tea) and here he gives his life to save the life of a single human - compare with the fourth Doctor who died to save the whole universe.

Alternative Peter Davison pick - “Kinda”.

Alternative Colin Baker pick - “Timelash”, the new series will always look good in comparison no matter what.

Remembrance of the Daleks

Encapsulating everything that was wrong with 1980s Doctor Who (more then anything an over-reliance on continuity) and everything that was starting to come right in the last two years (epic storytelling, a more alien Doctor) this tends to be either your favourite Dalek story or your least favourite.

Alternative Sylvester McCoy pick - “Damaged Goods”, a novel by new series supremo Russel T Davies that places SciFi horror side by side with the horror of life on a council estate in Thatcher’s Britain.

Alternative Paul McGann pick - “Alien Bodies”, I can’t say why it’s brilliant without spoiling a dozen things. This book kick-started the new mythology that has driven the novel line for the past few years, the series will almost certainly ignore that mythology but read it anyway ‘cos it’s great.

And what should you do with the remaining weekend? Watch some more of course!


Just ordered pink_weasel’s birthday presents a whole two weeks in advance - how organised is that?

So no buying yourself stuff between now and then!


I was bored. So here are some facts and figures about this year’s deadpool game.

  • There are 52 nominated stiffs out of a possible total of 70.

  • Most popular pick is the Pope who appears on all seven lists.

  • Other repeated picks are General Pinochet, James Doohan, Gerald Ford, Sir John Mills, Arthur C Clarke, Eric Sykes, Maggie Thatcher, Jimmy Saville, Larry Hagman, Ariel Sharon and George Best.

  • Oldest pick is Brooke Astor who will (or maybe won’t) turn 103 this year.

  • Youngest pick is Ian Huntley who’s younger than some of the contestants.

  • 3 picks were born in the 1900s, 14 in the 1910s, 17 in the 1920s, 6 in the 1930s, 7 in the 1940s, 3 in the 1950s and one each in the 1960s and 1970s.

  • 21 picks come from the ruling classes (whether elected, inherited or divinely appointed); 11 are “stars” of stage and screen; five are literary giants, four are from the world of music, three from the sporting world; three are criminals (though several of the first category are as well) and four defy classification.

And I just noticed that for some reason I had Micky Rourke down as being born in 1916 rather than 1956. I know the years of drug abuse have made their mark on him but that’s a little bit excessive…